Tuesday night on Pretty Little Infidelity Liars,
season six wrapped up not so much with a bang, but with a massive WTF? Dedicated fans know strange happenstances are commonplace in
Rosewood, yet no one could quite wrap their heads around the events of the
finale. That’s what you get when you mix Mission:
Impossible, Night of the Living Dead, and Army of Darkness into PLL.
Yes, you read that right. So, how did all of this transpire? Time to breakdown
the mania of 6B’s closer.
“Hush, Hush, Sweet Liars” kicks
off right after Hanna sends “Uber A” her false confession. The perp appears to
buy the ruse, responding that he/she will shoot all the girls if Hanna is
lying. Mind you, “shoot” is sent in the form of an emoji gun.
Hanna agrees to meet with “A”,
but requests one more day to get her affairs in order. And with that, all Hell
breaks loose over the course of the next twenty-four hours. Yvonne and Toby
spar off when Cavanaugh tells his fiancée that he won’t be able to attend her
mother’s election party. She demands to know why, but he can’t tell her
anything other than that it’s in the service of helping Spencer. The pair parts
ways for the night on poor terms, but Spoby fans get treated to a glimmer of
hope as Spencer and Toby team up to investigate Radley. Using Sara Harvey’s
blueprints to hopefully uncover what she’s likely hiding in the refurbished
building, they go down into the underbelly of the old sanitarium where they run
into a snooping Mona. The three come across an empty room with nothing but old
medical records for someone named Mary Drake, who gave birth to Charles
twenty-five years ago when she was still a patient at the asylum. This child
was then adopted by the DiLaurentis family, making Charlotte Ali and Jason’s
adopted brother/sister.
Meanwhile, Caleb rigs up an
electrical fence by the Lost Woods Resort with the hopes of thwarting “A” before
the big meeting. As Hanna and he wait things out, Hanna finally comes clean to her
ex over the fact that she still loves him after we’re treated to a flashback of
the former couple’s breakup. Despite Spencer dropping the “L” word on her new
beau not twelve hours prior, Hanna and Caleb share a lip lock until they’re
interrupted by Aria and Ezra. This infidelity hurts all the more considering
the showrunners pushed for us to accept Caleb and Spencer as the new pairing for
the entire winter half of the season.
And they’re not the only
adulterous ones of the bunch. Whether or not you like the tumultuous shipping
of Aria and Ezra, it still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when these two
former lovebirds take a roll in the hay upon getting glowing reviews from
Aria’s boss over their new book. We may not have spent much time with Liam, but
it’s obvious that he’s a good guy (and a much healthier relationship option for
Aria). Ms. Montgomery even spoke to Emily about Liam’s fear that she still had
feelings for Ezra, claiming they were, for the most part, unfounded. Aria seems
to suffer from some personality disorder, because not three hours later, she’s deep in the sheets with her ex-English teacher…again.
Amid the relationship melodrama,
Alison takes a detour from happy honeymooner to full-on Girl, Interrupted. After her vivid dream in the hospital of her mom
coming to visit her, she suddenly seems to be suffering from hallucinations. A
music box starts playing on its own upstairs, and when Ali goes to investigate,
she sees her grimy, dirt-ridden dead mother standing in the doorway of her old bedroom.
Rightfully in a panic, Alison seeks comfort with Emily, who assures her that
it’s all just a side effect of her painkiller medication. She tries convincing
herself that it’s the culprit, only to find the deceased Detective Wilden lying
in bed with her when she wakes up from a nap.
Thinking that she’s off her
rocker, Alison checks herself into the mental health facility that previously
housed Charlotte mere hours before Elliot is supposed to come home from his
business trip. Emily begs her to reconsider, but Ali ultimately goes through
with the decision.
All’s well at the Hastings’
campaign party when it’s announced that Veronica won the election. The merriment
gets crushed when Aria calls Spencer to inform her that Hanna has gone missing.
During the elaborate trap to catch “Emoji A”, someone triggered the sensors
coming up to the motel room. Apparently, nobody thought of implementing the
buddy-system to ensure that Hanna wouldn’t be left alone, because Caleb, Aria,
and Ezra all leave her to check out the trigger. Of course, no one’s there, and
they discover the same when they get back to the motel room.
First rule of baiting traps, make
sure there isn’t a secret passage hidden beneath the floorboards.
Bunch of amateurs.
The group reviews Caleb’s camera
footage from the electrical fence, seeing none other than Alison’s dead mother
on the recording. In the last minutes of the show, the deceased Detective Wilden
appears again in the DeLaurentis house and rips off an Ethan-Hunt-style facial
mask, revealing himself to in fact be Elliot—with a British accent no less.
What?!?!
As it turns out, Mary Drake, the
woman from the recently uncovered hospital records, is in fact Mrs.
DeLaurentis’s evil twin! She and Elliot invented this entire ruse—including
Elliot marrying Alison—all so that when she checked herself into the mental
hospital, Elliot would have control over the Carissimi Group. Taking away the
family business is apparently step one in their quest for vengeance, as Elliot
was apparently in love with Charlotte
and Mary wants justice for her daughter’s death. The Liars receive one last
text message reading, “Thanks for giving me Hanna. You’re free to go. – A.D.”
Then the show concludes with events coming full circle as Hanna’s body is
dragged across the floor of the church bell tower where Charlotte met her death
at the start of 6B.
Considering all the “twists”
coming out of left field and the sheer lunacy of events, it’s impossible to
watch PLL anymore with any sense of
investment. The suspension of disbelief one has to implement is seriously
pushing it, even by soap opera standards. When the show debuted, the original “A”
proved to be a formidable foe. The sound of an incoming text message honestly
put knots in your stomachs, because “A” was truly menacing. This “Emoji A” has
about the same gravitas as a petulant middle schooler.
Amid all the ridiculousness, the
worst offense remains in the writers’ treatment of a particular Liar. Distraught
from her father’s death, broke from poor life choices, and left without a job,
Emily had the most compelling back story following the five-year time jump.
Yet, over the course of the winter season, her character arc fell flatter than
a pancake. And yet again, while the other Liars regale in copious love affairs,
Ms. Fields continues to be the odd girl out for another season. Our deepest sympathies
go out to Shay Mitchell for her continually untapped talents. Shame on you,
writers. These grievances aside, the question still stands, if Mary and Elliot
are “Uber A”, who actually killed Charlotte? And furthermore, do we really care anymore?
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